What can I tell you about Jura? He's frugal. Are we in church or trying to meet ladies in a coffee shop / bookstore / avante garde nude interpretative dance theatre troupe gallery or whatever the hell this place is? C'mon Mr. He's got the J.Crew catalogue thing goin' on a little too much with the green merino wool v-neck, the golf ball white Brooks Brothers button down underneath, and of course ironed safari beige khakis. He has an interesting opinion on everything from Ford truck lift kits to what kind of industrial glue, wax and gold metallic paint is used to maintain Trump's pompadour!Īnd sitting across from these two characters at the coffee shop/ bookstore / consignment art gallery, or hunting ground for a Friday night date, is Jura. Everyone likes Glen, particularly the ladies. Seated next to Johnnie, in a gray Philadelphia Eagles poncho, is Glen, or more precisely Glenfiddich 12, and he likes fishing, Coors Light and football. After a volley of texts, email, and countless lattes, you will find yourself, an offender released from the Mercedes Benz Finance debtor's prison. Got an expensive car lease that you impulsively plunged into during the sunny honeymoon period with your ex-gf, and now, under the gathering sombre clouds of insolvency, you are desperate to escape? Johnnie actually knows someone, who knows someone, who wants that overpriced and unreliable German automotive piece of revenge, launched against us because our grandfathers won the War.
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If Johnnie Walker Black was a fellow, he would be a young, lean, angular jawed, recent MBA grad, full of ambition with his career mapped out in exhaustive Montblanc detail on a coffee shop napkin, should you care to ask.
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